Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
