remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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