you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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