is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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