I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
