I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
