Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
