Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I look better un-naked...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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