i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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