when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
