it was like his penis was on wheels.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
