Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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