If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
