your thong is hanging out like whoa
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
