my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
