I'm going to rape someone's good day.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
