Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
