dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
