you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
