Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
