Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
