It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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