Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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