There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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