i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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