at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have aggressive nipples.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
