I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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