Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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