My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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