Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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