I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
