The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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