I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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