if you like me you must not know who I am
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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