Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize