I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
