I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
