Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
