I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
