Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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