you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
