winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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