I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
