the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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