my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
