I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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