mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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