Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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