my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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