i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
