ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
