Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
