Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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