I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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