Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
