4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
