Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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