He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
