No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
