wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize