I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize