I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize